Facebook and social blogging

[Chuckt]

I grew up with older people around me that didn't always like to talk about themselves. I would get told by the neighbors it was rude to keep asking questions as a child if neighbors didn't want to talk about themselves.

I grew up thinking that a lot of people would like to keep their lives private because not everyone should know a lot them. I also grew up believing that we shouldn't talk to strangers and the more people know about you, the more people could take advantage of you.

I'm kind of amazed that everyone is into facebook and a lot of people are trusting strangers. What are privacy settings all about if everyone is on facebook?

Am I showing my age? Am I missing something here? Are people tired of living their lives in public?

[Galaen]

I'm with you Chuckt - I do not understand all this facebook rubbish and I think it has the potential to be a very dangerous place. People make me laugh when they say 'I have X amount of friends'. No they don't, these are poeple sat at another computer somewhere that they do not know. They only know what that person is telling them, there is no real interaction and that person could be anyone and feeding them a pack load of lies. Privacy buttons are all well and good as long as everything is working - this could, and probably will, all end in tears. Perhaps I am just too old too but you won't find me on there.

[Bloodbought]

Internet chat sites and social networks are IMO a form of escapism. People can hide behind a name and pretend to be some-one or some-thing else. It is not a real world. It is all fantasy!!!

[Lily]

Internet chat sites and social networks are IMO a form of escapism. People can hide behind a name and pretend to be some-one or some-thing else. It is not a real world.

I agree with that. Infact Canny and I were only discussing just the otherday how people who find it hard to relate in the " real " world, tend to escape into the virtual world. Nonetheless, I think thats quite sad.

I agree with Galaen that it does definately have the potential to be a very dangerous place, especially for children and the vunerable. However, not enough is said about the good.
Back in my dark days, I didn't have a clue on what to do with a PC, turning it on was classed as technical for me. My Son had his first PC when he was 16 and oneday, I asked him to show me how to find things with a search engine ( didn't even know search engine was the term in those days ) then one day, when he was in school, I played around with it and, cut a long story short I became a member of a Christian chat room.
Within hours I felt that I belonged. With everything that was going on at home, here were people not calling me names. Within weeks, I was in the theology room learning so much and it was that interest in theology that prompted me to go back to my books and eventually, to college where I did theology and ethics.
I was green when I joined that chatroom. I had been a practising RC all my life, thought everyone prayed to Mary, thought " just " going to church made you a Christian, thought " just " being good made you a Christian, was puzzled by words such as " saved " and " rapture ", thought everyone went crazy over the Pope, thought rosery beads were a compulsory tool of the trade, thought everyone lit a candle in church with a quick hail Mary and surely, everyone confessed to a priest didn't they ?
So off to college I went to learn more about this world of people I knew nothing about outside my RCC and oh man, did my head start spinning

Within months of joining, I got very friendly with, we shall call her Angie. She said she lived just 30 minutes away from me. We arranged to meet but, we arranged to meet at lunch time in a crowded cafe and we both laughed when we saw eachother because we both had the same thing in mind, she had brought her friend and my Son and 2 of his mates came with me
So yes, we both realised we had to keep our heads about this and realised yes, we could have been anyone. But to this day, that friendship is still strong. During that time, we have made arrangements to meet others from that same chatroom, always in large groups and very public places and yes, on occasions, my Son has come along and it's been quite funny to see him and his mates watch us from a distance while we have sat waiting, one such time, they were peeping round a flower arrangement in a busy street thinking they were being so clever and subtle, when infact they may just as well as had flashing lights on their heads. One of the ladies we were meeting, who had been waiting outside a shop until she spotted us sitting outside this cafe, came over and first thing she said was,, " have you seen those two over there, I've been watching them for ages trying to be so inconspicuous but I think they are up to something "

Since then those virtual people have become personal friends. Many of us meet up in Alton towers every year in a group of about 30+ for the Christian concert, many have stayed with me, I've stayed with them and my 50th birthday bash was full of these wonderful people who are now friends and who surrounded me with so much love and protection after I got rid of my " problem " at home. Was on the phone to one of them last night for nearly an hour and shes coming next week.
Our own Eddybear here and his wife have become personal friends and have been to visit.

Most people I have on my facebook ( over 200 ), I know personally ( admittedly, not all friends but I do know personally ). Of those I have never met, many I have chatted to on the phone as far away as USA, Canada, Austrailia and one young lad who emigrated here from NZ ( and who I met in that chatroom ) nearly 3yrs ago, I have become ( in his eyes ), a second Mother to. He's working and living not 15 minutes away from me and somehow sees himself as my lord and protector so much so that many times I have thought,, purleasssssssse let me breath on my own

His Parents, who I have never met but whose Mother I chat to very often and is on my facebook, have been on at me for months to go visit them in NZ. They have even offered to pay for my flight. Just as a thankyou to me and my family helping their Son get started in his new life here. But alas, I'm not fit enough to take on such a mammoth flight.

So, it's not all bad you see
With the way my life was then with my Husband, it has enriched my life and given me so many personal friends who have surrounded me with this wall of love so much so, my estranged HUsband would never dare touch me again.

[Lynwood]

I have to agree with Lily here. I too have made very real personal friends over the internet. These are people who, since getting to know them in the virtual world, I have met in real life. Like Lily, I was very careful when meeting up and was never alone, but without the internet I would never even have heard of these people, never mind having them as friends.

I am on facebook and have to admit that, although I was sceptical at first and it took me months to give it a real go, I am now throughly enjoying it. I not only have real life friends and family on there, I have internet friends too from Christian places and from my hobby forum that I go on. I never give out information that would place me in a dangerous position, and am quite happy that I am at no risk. Facebook, like a forum, is what you make of it. You can be as anonymous as the next person if you wish. Yes, somebody else could be telling me a pack of lies, but they could in this forum or in a chat room or anywhere else for that matter.

I do agree that sensible precautions should be taken, not just on Facebook but on the internet in general. No personal information should be given out publicly, and if it is decided to take things further and meet up in real life, then never meet up alone. But Lily and I have both found that that anonymous person on another computer can end up a real life personal friend. Facebook isn't for everyone, but I personally am glad it exists and I hope to continue using it for a long time to come!

Lynwood.

[gibby]

I use facebook to keep connected with family/friends/coworkers. I don't post things that are too personal and my profile is set to private. If someone were to hack my profile, they would be disappointed in what they find which is pretty benign and surface information about me and my family. We are pretty boring folk and don't have alot of drama in our lives at the moment. And, as far as facebook goes, I don't get involved in all the quizzes, applications, farmville, etc. simply because I don't have time.

But I agree, people need to be careful what they post. There are people on my friend list who post some pretty wild stuff...some of whom I have blocked from my feed because of it which is a quick problem solved.

And myspace, I pretty much abandoned that account a few years ago. There is not much on there and I have been too lazy to log in and delete my account which I still may do. I don't do much with twitter either.

[canny]

It's the only way I have of knowing what my children get up to
It's nice to keep contact with JIP too.

[Galaen]

One of my biggest problems with Facebook is: how did they get hold of my information? They regularly contact me telling me people are looking for me but I have never registered with them! I never reply to these emails and always spam them and I have asked two people who I know are members to look for me but neither can find me - so, where did they get my information from?*?*? This does make me very suspicious of the site.

[Lily]

One of my biggest problems with Facebook is: how did they get hold of my information? They regularly contact me telling me people are looking for me but I have never registered with them! I never reply to these emails and always spam them and I have asked two people who I know are members to look for me but neither can find me - so, where did they get my information from?*?*? This does make me very suspicious of the site.

Galaen, do you have a hotmail addy or MSN or maybe yahoo? Because if you do thats how they find you. They have a friend finder thingy with all of those. It's a bit like signing up for one insurance company and hey presto, the other companies get you're info.
It's not necessarily facebook that has got you're info on it's own. If you have any kind of messenger and the people you talk to, either on there, or via e mail have facebook then it can happen that way.

I was poking oneday looking for a few people I had lost contact with when windows live space changed, windows live space was where I blogged and made many contacts through that, the change wasn't for the best and quite a few people stopped blogging, so I was poking around on MSN to invite them as a friend on facebook to make contact again.
Found the people I wanted, selected just those and thought MSN had just sent out those particular mails. Logged on the facebook oneday and got the fright of my life. The young lad I was telling you about from NZ was here and he must have thought I was being murdered when I screeched for him. There on my facebook notifications was my Husbands name saying he had accepted my invite to become my friend on facebook
Quickly blocked him and then, still screeching , asked my little NZ mate why my husband wanted to be my friend and how had it happened ( like it was his fault ).
What had happened was, it wasn't facebook that had accessed the info, MSN had decided in it's infinate wisdom to not only send the selected invites, it had sent the invites, via friend finder, to anyone I had ever mailed, including my solicitor

[nifty]

so, where did they get my information from?*?*?

It means people who already have facebook are asking you to join. All they have to do to is type in **name**@hotmail.com and facebook sends you an email.

Facebook can be used badly but mostly it is a way of keeping in contact with people you already know. For instance, I have all my friends added, when I wanted to ahve a birthday party I didn't have to send out invitations. I just invited to the event on facebook. This means I can easily keep track of whose coming and they get reminders on facebook so they don't forget. I find it extreemly useful. I've never added anyone I don't know, and there's no need to. Facebook isn't about meeting new people, meeting strangers, it's about keeping in touch with people you already know. The amount of private information you share is entirely up to you. People have this fear of social networking sites, but they are usually the people who have never tried to use one.