The Daily Funnies

[canny]

Appearances

There’s a story about a security guard at a Russian factory. One day this guard stopped a worker who was walking out of the factory gates pushing a wheelbarrow with a suspicious looking package in it. The guard opened the package up and found it contained nothing but some old bits of rubbish, sawdust and floor-sweepings.

The next day he stopped the same worker who was again pushing a wheelbarrow containing a suspicious looking package. Once more it contained nothing of value.

The same thing happened many days on the trot, until the guard finally said, "OK, I give up. I know you are up to something, but I just can’t tell what. Please, I promise not to arrest you, but put me out of my misery - tell me what you are stealing."

"Wheelbarrows," smiled the worker, "I’m stealing wheelbarrows."

[canny]

Daily Prayer

Dear Lord

I'm proud to say, so far today
I've got along all right;
I have not gossiped, whined or bragged,
Or had a single fight.

I haven't lost my temper once,
Or criticized my mate,
I have not lied, I have not cried,
Or loudly cursed my fate.

So far today I've not one time
Been grumpy or morose,
I've not been spiteful, cold or vain,
Self-centred or verbose.

But, Lord, I'm going to need Your help
Throughout the hours ahead,
So give me strength, Dear Lord, for now
I'm getting out of bed.

[canny]

Bump

[Danny C]

One Day God was looking down at Earth and saw all the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to havea look.

The angel is sent down to Earth for 5 days and then returns to God.

The angel reports that it is bad on Earth

95% bad and 5% good

God realized that this was not good at all.

He decided to email the 5%nthat were good and encourage them to help them keep going.

Do you know what the email said?
......

......

.......

.........

OH??

So you didn't get that email either huh ???

[canny]

LOL

[Steveg]

One Day God was looking down at Earth and saw all the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to havea look.

The angel is sent down to Earth for 5 days and then returns to God.

The angel reports that it is bad on Earth

95% bad and 5% good

God realized that this was not good at all.

He decided to email the 5%nthat were good and encourage them to help them keep going.

Do you know what the email said?
......

......

.......

.........

OH??

So you didn't get that email either huh ???

Good one Danny

I didn't know this thread existed, but I see Canny bumped it.

[canny]

Thought it may be a nice way for Danny to settle in and get to know us
he's made me laugh a lot lately

[ByHisGrace]

I see your on form Danny.....good one.

[canny]

I hope this is one without an F word,,, but it cracks me up. Eddy is one of my favs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4f-N1...eature=related

[canny]

I want this bird !