eddybear

Reading one of the current threads in the forum has inspired me to write about my journey so far relating to communion. I'm not a theologian, this is my personal story.

My background for the 1st 4 years of my Christian life was low Anglican, and the church I went to in Oxford was Calvinist Anglican. I was taught that Communion was a symbol, with terms like "Zwinglian" thrown around. After I left university came 13 years of being in free churches, which could be described as "charismatic evangelical", until last year Ali and I left our church (for reasons I won't go into here).

For well over a year, most of our fellowship was online, in forums like this one, and its predecessor "The Christian Lounge" where I first met a few of the folk I now see in here. We didn't go to church, and to be honest, I didn't miss it. I enjoyed the freedom of Sunday mornings, and used the time for reading and prayer, and coming on forums.

But ...... I missed Communion, and there started to stir in me a desire, indeed even a feeling of need, to take Communion again. During this time, on another forum, I had the privilege of meeting a Catholic brother who enthused about the Eucharist in a way that was new to me. As far as I had been concerned, transsubstantiation was one of those dusty theological topics that Catholics wrongly taught, and which we protestants were well rid of. But here was someone who was passionate about it, indeed he had left the Catholic church, but after years away had come back because of the Real Presence. Interesting.

This autumn, I started feeling it was time to start going back to church. A good friend had said I would know when it was right. I wanted to go somewhere that would have Communion, and chose a nearby Anglican where a couple of friends go. The service was quite good, and then came the Communion part. I went to receive the bread and wine, and as I took the elements..... it's hard to describe, but this is how I blogged (on another site) when I got home that morning.

Knelt at the altar rail, though, something strange happened. I can only describe it as a sudden craving for more of Christ. That here I was meeting with Him, and yet I wanted more, more. The other things that happened in (and after) the service were all good - but this was what mattered, this is what caught my heart, my soul.

I didn't expect that to happen at communion. Much as I have been blessed in the past at communion, this was different. In some ways I don't quite understand it. But maybe I don't need to. Christ was real, is real. And I am changed by meeting with him.

There is something extremely precious about the gift of Communion, and meeting with Christ there. I haven't got the theology straight in my head, but repeatedly Christ blesses me when I take Communion, and gives me some new grace. I have been blessed many times in the past by remembering Christ, but maybe, after a period away from church, I am now ready to receive something more - even more of Christ. And no words can describe how wonderful it is to draw close to my Saviour.